Today is World Compliment day.  Why not try complimenting yourself as well as others.  Learning to love ourselves can be a challenge for many people.  Take time today to praise yourself - and believe that you are worthy of the self praise.
And as others compliment you, accept the compliment - and believe it.  In my experience, most people that offer compliments are genuine and truthful.  So give friends the benefit of the doubt and believe that they mean what they say.
Believe in yourself and love yourself.

These are unique challenging times, which no one has ever experienced and hopefully we never will again.  This is probably the only crisis that has literally affected the whole world.  Human beings are not designed to live in isolation, so lockdown is generally not a natural way to live.

Everyone has developed different ways of getting through, and living without seeing loved ones and friends.  Zoom, Skype, Messenger and other many other video platforms have become our new best friends as a way of keeping in touch and have contact with people.  But nothing beats having that hugs or face to face contact.  I think many many people are missing that physical contact.

But even with coping mechanisms, most people will have had their days where life seems challenging.  And that is OK - being honest normal.  I have people that are normally really positive that have had their lower days.  So on those days be kind to yourself.  Gently use your own coping mechanisms to pick yourself back up, whether that is going for a walk, doing exercise, hugging the dog (if you have one), binge watching netflix.  And generally talking to other people does help so I do keep a list of numbers that I can ring for a chat, which for me helps, even on the most challenging lonely days.

And remember if you are having a good day, and feeling great, maybe that is the time to check in with other friends that may be struggling at the moment.  A 20 minute phone call could make a massive difference to someone.

For some people they find they need a bit extra support and that is where counselling/therapy can help.  We offer an independent ear in a safe space to talk through your feelings.  Contact Kerry for more information.

These are challenging times for everyone.  Now more than ever it is important to have strategies for self care, to help with mental health.  The last year has affected everyone in different ways.  At the moment we have a lack of hope and choice which continues to make life challenging for many people.  Many people's coping mechanisms are not available at the moment eg playing team sports, meeting friends for coffee, meeting up and enjoying hobbies together and the list goes on.  

It is very easy in challenging times to develop negative coping mechanisms, or fall back to ones that we thought were long left behind.  Staying positive can be hard, but moving forward establishing new habits to get through these difficult circumstances can help your mental health in the long term.

So take some time every day to look after yourself.  Sit down and think about what activities help with your mental health.  They may need adapting to world we find ourselves in at the moment.  If you normally meet with friends to do a hobby, can you meet on zoom and still have the chat.  I have seen many ingenious ways that people have found to carry on interacting with friends, family and social groups.  And if having days binge watching on netflix then that is also fine.  Take care of yourself should be top of your agenda.

If life is getting really tough then reach out to friends and family.  I have found that many friends that I thought were sailing through COVID actually have been finding it very challenging.  You don't have to say that you are having a tough day.  From personal experience 

There is no way of knowing how other people are doing without actually talking to them.  So be kind to all.  We don't know how lockdown is affecting others.  So don't assume that everyone is alright.  Maybe they are - maybe they are not but a little kindness goes a long way.

For anyone out there that needs a bit more support then please contact a professional.  I offer counselling online or in my office in Velez Malaga.  Please contact me for more information.

I have done many sessions of EMDR with my clients, both face 2 face and online.  Every time I am blown away by how effective this therapy is for my clients.  I am privileged to be able to offer this to my clients.
​Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing is a different form of therapy that focuses less on the event itself and more on the emotions and symptoms that result from the event.  Both sides of the brain are stimulated, using either eye movement or tapping alternate knees or hands.  EMDR was originally developed to treat symptoms of PTSD, but has been used successfully to treat anxiety, panic attacks, depression, anger, phobias, sleep problems, grief and loss, addictions, pain, performance anxiety, low self esteem and many other mental health issues. 
Most of the time your body routinely manages new information and experiences without us being aware of it.  However, when the person experiences a traumatic event (eg car accident) or repeated traumatic event (eg childhood trauma), your natural coping mechanism can be overloaded.  This overload causes these experiences to be frozen in your brain and they become ‘unprocessed’. Often, when the memory is long forgotten, but the painful feeling such as anxiety, panic, anger or despair are continually triggered in the present.  EMDR helps create the connections between brain’s memory networks, enabling the brain to process the traumatic memory.
EMDR is not a form of hypnosis.  The client remains in control, fully alert and awake, and can stop the process at any time.  I support and facilitate the healing process, but my input is minimal.  I trust the amazing brain of the client to heal itself, which the brain can do.  Most people report EMDR as being a natural and empowering therapy.
EMDR enhances the natural healing ability of the brain.  In sessions with clients, working with EMDR, I have helped clients cease to have flashbacks, stop OCD behaviours and dealt with phobias.
For more information contact Kerry at kestrelcounselling@gmail.com or phone/whatsapp 0034 636 588 697

I received these lovely comments from a client today.  Always great to have great feedback.

‘ I started with Kerry when I was in a difficult place everything in my life seemed to be turned upside down.
She listened carefully to me, gave me time to reflect and respond on the things that were troubling me most.
It was hard to reach out when i felt like i was in deep water but i am glad to have had Kerry to help me explore the reasons i felt like that and gradually i felt more incontrol of my life which in turn, helped to bring me back to shore.
I am truely greatful for the support i have received. ‘
​

Having spent 6 months in the UK working with young people especially affected by COVID, I am excited to be returning to Spain from January 2021 and will be working again face to face from my office in Velez Malaga and Fuengirola.  Having used EMDR with my clients in England, I am thrilled to bring amazing therapy back to Spain with me.  For more information about EDMR please client here.  In the meantime I continue to work online on zoom and whatsapp wiht clients all over the world.

There is often talk of the fight or flight reaction to stressful situations, but we often don’t talk about the freeze reaction, which is just as common a reaction, but less talked about.

Click here for a video of an impala freezing to get away from a cheetah.

This freeze reaction is very common in the animal kingdom and equally in the human brain. Watch how the impala reacts after the danger has passed and the reaction on its body as the adrenaline bleeds off, causing the deep breathing and shaking, before it gets up and runs off to safety.

However, what often happens in the human brain is that the event is not processed and we get frozen in the trauma. Where the impala instinctively and literally shakes it off the adrenaline surge, our rational brain takes over and the memory is trapped in the brain. Sometimes the memory is hidden completely and sometimes it gets ‘stuck’ in the brain. These memories can cause a myriad of mental health issues including depression, anxiety, stress to name but a few. These memories are stored in the amygdala almost for safe keeping until they can be processed fully.

One of the most effective treatments to access these memories and fully process them is EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) developed by Francine Shapiro. Bilateral stimulation (activating both sides of the brain at the same time) traditionally by eye movement, but more recently with tapping or audio stimulation, stimulates both sides of the brain at the same time. This stimulation creates new pathways in the brain, which help to process hidden — or not so hidden — memories and traumas. 

I confess that as I headed to my training weekend, I was very skeptical. Many of my counsellor colleagues had been raving about how successful it had been. I definitely needed convincing. So I volunteered to be the client as the trainer showed us how it works. We worked on an issue I have with food and a week after the session, my brain is still processing and the new thoughts installed in that session are still with me. I was not even aware of how my brain was working, but I do know that for me it worked.

So then after the training I do the first session on a client with PTSD. He has flashbacks to an event 7 years ago, which are severe, and whilst he feels that he has processed the trauma and moved on, the flashbacks suggest that he has not. We worked on that particular event in his life and by the end of the session, he is now thinking about the incident without any reaction. It becomes a memory, not a trauma. 

I am beyond convinced. Whilst I get the overall theory, I cannot explain exactly how the brain does it. But I have seen over and over again that it does work. The brain is an incredibly clever organ, that with the right help and stimulation can repair itself. I have seen this happen over and over again — with clients, with colleagues and with myself.

With these days of COVID, a question I get asked is can it be done over the internet. The answer is yes. I have worked with clients on zoom without any issues as have many of my colleagues. 
​
I am proud to have added this amazing skill to my repertoire of resources. I have seen the power of this many times over. If you have something in your brain that you feel needs unblocking then please contact me at www.kestrelcounselling.com

I am always one for learning new skills, and do a significant amount of training each year.  Indeed the BACP requires us to do 30 hours of training as a minimum each year.  But I admit I was very skeptical about EMDR, whether it would work for me and my clients.  However, I attended the training, which is made up of 3 weekends with an open mind, but needing to be convinced - and I more than convinced - I am a complete convert.

​(Developed by Francine Shapiro, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) was original developed to help people suffering with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Traumas get 'stuck' in a small part of the brain called the Amygdala and are not fully processed.  This can cause flashbacks, anxiety, depression and many other symptoms - both physical and mental.
With EMDR both sides of the brain are stimulated at the same time, either by eye movement, tapping alternate legs or palms or using buzzers to help clients process these traumas.  Kerry leaves the choice of which stimulation up to the client.  Kerry guides the client through the process to help clients process their unwanted traumas.
Since it's origins working with PTSD, EMDR has evolved and has been shown to be effective working through many issues for clients, including bereavement, addictions, unwanted behaviours, recent traumas to name a few.

YES!  I have had sessions myself to help with destructive behaviours, mainly around eating.  One session has already changed my behaviour.  
I have worked with several clients to process unwanted traumas and whilst I not going to even understand the details of what is going on in the brain, I have seen clients come in suffering with flashbacks, after one session leave having processed he memory so that it becomes a memory, not a trauma.  
So I have experienced the power of EMDR personally and also seen how much it can help my clients as part of our on going work together.  I have also delivered it on zoom remotely.
​To find out more about this exciting method of dealing with trauma and other conditions please contact Kerry

2020 is one year that I believe everyone will remember and not especially in a good way.  It was the year that the whole world was involved and affected by one single event.  For some people, it was less challenging, but for many the pandemic has been a massive challenge, especially for people separated from loved ones by lockdown and quarantines.  If these feelings are overwhelming for you, and you need help to work through them I am here to help and support you through these challenging times.  Please email me at kestrelcounselling@gmail.com for more information about how I can support you.

I am sure that many of you, like me, received a lot of pictures like this in the last 24 hours, on social media, messenger, whatsapp and many more.  But for many people this is a very lonely time of the year.  If you are suffering with any kind of issues then maybe it is time to make some changes and see how 2020 can be different from other year.  I have extensive experience working with all age groups and different issues.  I offer a safe place for you to explore your feelings and explore the changes that you want to make.  Contact me for more information.